fuckyeahlaughters:

Get the Best Medicine here :)

(Source: painiack)

I think I see a ghost at the other end of my room. I’m too sleepy to investigate. I threw my pillow at it. But now I’m regretting it cause I could really use that pillow right now. *sighs

Bitch that’s not the only thing that’s tall :D

than the person you’re camming with. 

(Source: painiack)

totally-relatable:

Follow Totally-Relatable for the funniest and most relatable posts.

(Source: painiack)

citybluelights:

painiack:

Spend hours looking at porn. 

Until you find the perfect one to masturbate to. 

Then get disgusted by it afterwards.

lmfao

Why do I see a GERMAN MIDGET in my LATIN LESBIANS!!

(Source: painiack)

Them:

You:

and she said she found a bunch of used tissues around my bed. She asked me was I sick. I told her it was my allergies …………..yea, dick allergies.

some-random-girl:

fairyprincessjoon:

To take a piss. And lying in the middle of the bathroom floor was my sister’s weave. I stepped on it repeatedly out of self defense. Thinking it was a tarantula werewolf baby

     

In my heart. I believed that I was going to die. 

wheezing

TARANTULA WEREWOLF BABY!?? LOOOOL!

(Source: painiack)

a girl brings you some slippers to wear before you get out of bed and lets you eat her kid’s last lunchable. I told little man I was sorry on my way to the fridge.

and she answers the phone like “HEEEEEY BUDDY! ” Normally when I call she says “Hey big dick daddy “

Her boyfriend must be over.